Resources
Book:
“Why Can’t I Just Leave:
A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship”
by Kristen Milstead, Ph.D.
More than 60 million people have been in a pathological love relationship with someone who has an impaired conscience (otherwise known as a narcissist). Are you one of them?
Using the stories of survivors and social psychological research on compliance, cognitive dissonance, and thought control, Why Can’t I Just Leave? explains how relationships with pathological partners can create impossible dilemmas that trap you in a distorted dream-state and hijack your thoughts and emotions.
Learn what those who are conscience-impaired don’t want you to know and find out how to wake up and walk out of your partner’s invisible prison forever.
Other Great Books On This Topic!
Here are some other great books on this topic, recommended by the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor
Treatment, Research & Education.
1) Women Who Love Psychopaths, 3d ed
2) Insight is 20/20: How To Trust Yourself To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships
3) Emotional Regulation Tools and Techniques for Traumatized Kids and Their Frazzled Parents
4) Narcissistic/Psychopathic Abuse: How Trauma Bonds and Cognitive Dissonance are Related
5) Narcissistic/Psychopathic Abuse: Common Errors in Treating and Coaching Survivors
Wearable device:
The Apollo®
The Apollo® wearable doesn’t track your stress and heart rate variability (HRV), it actively improves it. Utilizing low frequency sound waves felt as soothing vibrations, the Apollo wearable was developed by neuroscientists and physicians for better sleep, recovery, stress relief, and focus.
In a double-blind randomized placebo-controlled crossover trial, the Apollo wearable increased HRV by 11%. It is also shown to reduce stress and anxiety by 40% on average, lower heart rate by 4%, help your body recover from physical injury 10% faster, improve concentration and focus by 25%, and get 19% deeper sleep.
I have recommended this product to many clients who have trauma, PTSD, complex PTSD, anxiety, sleep issues, etc. I have only heard positive results from my clients who have used the Apollo. I also use this product myself and have seen the positive affects since I got mine in 2020. I am not selling these; I am just sharing this information. Click below to learn more about the Apollo.
***A new version of the Apollo has been announced to be released summer 2025 with some amazing new features like tracking your sleep and self-adjusting to help you sleep better!***
Video:
“The Power of Vulnerability”
by Brené Brown, Ph.D.
Brené Brown, Ph.D. studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.
My clients who have had trauma, especially narcissistic abuse, often have a nervous system that is stuck in survival mode (fight or flight). The ideas in this TED Talk can help my clients teach their nervous systems to begin to trust, love, and be vulnerable again.
Video:
“Listening to Shame”
by Brené Brown, Ph.D.
Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.
My clients often come out of abusive relationships feeling like they are not good enough, not smart enough, etc., or even feeling like they are “too much” in some ways (like feeling like a burden to others). This is shame. And it’s never helpful.